Etiquette: How to Travel Japan Respectfully

Okay, Japan travelers, it’s time to talk etiquette. 

I know, I know – your eyes are probably glazing over already. 

But stick with me here, because this stuff can make all the difference when you're on a self-guided tour of Japan. 

My goal is to help you navigate my homeland without accidentally offending anyone or feeling like a bull in a china shop.

See, Japan's got a reputation for being a stickler for rules and manners. And yeah, there's some truth to that. But it's not as scary or complicated as you might think. Most of it boils down to common sense and basic respect. 

Plus, making an effort to follow local customs can open doors to local Japan experiences you might otherwise miss.

The Basics: Politeness Goes a Long Way in Japan

First things first: in Japan, a little politeness can take you far. 

And I'm not talking about memorizing a phrase book or bowing at precisely the right angle (though if you want to get into that, knock yourself out). I'm talking about the simple stuff.

For starters, "please" and "thank you" are golden anywhere, right? In Japanese, that's "onegaishimasu" and "arigatou gozaimasu.” 

Don't worry if your pronunciation isn't perfect; the effort alone will win you major points. I've seen grumpy shopkeepers turn into beaming hosts just because a tourist tried to say "thank you" in Japanese.

Another biggie? Inside voices. 

Japan can be a pretty densely populated place, especially in the cities. We've kind of mastered the art of giving each other auditory space. So while you don't need to whisper, maybe save your booming laugh for when you're not on a crowded train at rush hour.

Oh, and speaking of trains – please put your phone on silent – and refrain from phone calls until you’ve reached your destination. 

I once watched an elderly woman shame a businessman into hanging up with nothing but a disapproving stare. Trust me, you don't want to be on the receiving end of that look.

But here's the thing: you don’t need to stress about getting everything perfect. Most Japanese people are pretty forgiving of tourists who make an honest mistake. We get it! Our customs can seem weird or confusing if you're not used to them. What matters is that you're making an effort.

I remember this one time I was showing some American friends around Kobe. We were at a small, family-run soba restaurant, and one of my friends accidentally stuck his chopsticks straight up in his rice bowl (a big no-no in Japan because it’s typically associated with funeral rites). 

The owner's wife gently corrected him, and instead of getting embarrassed, my friend asked her to teach him the proper way. By the end of the meal, they were chatting like old friends, with her teaching him all sorts of chopstick etiquette.

That's the kind of interaction that can turn a good trip into a great one. Rather than following a strict set of rules, it's about being open, respectful and willing to learn. Do that, and you'll find Japan opening up to you in ways you never expected.

Navigating Public Spaces in Japan: Read the Room

Right, so let’s move on to getting around. 

Japan's public spaces can feel like a choreographed dance sometimes, and you don't want to be the one stepping on everyone's toes. Imagine being here on your honeymoon in Japan, for example; those aren’t the kind of memories you’d want to take home.

First up: escalators. In most parts of Japan, people stand on one side and leave the other clear for people in a rush. Which side? Well, that's the fun part: it's left in Tokyo, right in Osaka. Confused? Sigh, us too. 

Just look at what the locals are doing and follow suit. And don't stop dead at the top or bottom of the escalator to check your phone. I've seen that cause pile-ups on more than one occasion

Etiquette on the Trains in Japan

Now, about those famous crowded trains. Yes, they can get packed in like a tin of sardines. Keep your hands close to your body and your backpack in front of you. And if you're lucky enough to snag a seat, be ready to give it up for elderly folks, pregnant women or anyone who looks like they need it more than you. 

As mentioned before, it’s best to “read the room” as it were, and assess how quiet the space is around you on the train (and in other public spaces). If you’re in a quiet train car, maybe adjust your conversation volume down a bit, so that you’re not standing out as the “noisy foreigner,” (we hear it sometimes).

Traveling around Japan on the shinkansen or other express trains? Super convenient, isn’t it?! Of course, we’ve got some rules & manners to follow on express trains, too.

In addition to the rules about talking, there are also guidelines for luggage. Japanese regional & intercity trains don’t have a ton of room for suitcases. If you have a standard size carry-on and/or a backpack, you should be fine. If you’ve brought a full-size (airline check-in type) suitcase for your Japan self-guided tour, however, you might not find space on the trains for it (unless you’ve reserved special seats that include extra baggage space).

That’s why may Japanese people and visitors to Japan will send their baggage ahead from one city to the next. You can simply drop your suitcase off at a nearby convenience store, fill out a form for Yamato or Sagawa express, and have them send the bag to your hotel (usually arriving the next day). It’s inexpensive and wlll help you avoid unpleasant schlepping of that suitcase not just on the train but around town.

A quick note on smoking: Japan's not as smoke-free as you might expect, but there are designated smoking areas. Use them if you need to. Lighting up while walking down the street is a big no-no in most places. (so is eating/drinking, and we’ll touch on that later)

Eating in Japan: More Than Just Using Chopsticks

If you’re like me (hello, fellow foodie!), eating in Japan is probably one of the main reasons you're coming here. 

Do we have some etiquette around eating? Yup! But don't let that scare you off. Most of it is pretty logical when you think about it.

First, chopsticks. Yes, they can be tricky if you're not used to them. No, stabbing your food like it's a kebab is not the solution. Take your time, and don't be afraid to ask for a fork if you're really struggling. 

Remember what I said about sticking them straight up in your rice? Right, you won’t be doing that. Also, don't pass food from your chopsticks to someone else’s chopsticks (it’s another funeral ritual). Instead, place the food on the other person's plate.

What about slurping? I know it sounds weird if you're not used to it, but slurping your noodles is totally fine – heck, it’s encouraged, even. It aerates the noodles, cools them down and can even be seen as a sign that you're enjoying the food. 

Oh, yeah, those conveyor belt sushi restaurants in Japan? They’re called kaiten-sushi, and they’re great, you gotta go! 

There are a few basics to know in those sushi eateries, too. If it’s the kind where food items come around on a conveyor belt, take what you touch – even if you didn’t mean to grab an item, once you’ve touched the plate or food, you should take it and eat it. 

Some kaiten-sushi spots let you order on an iPad (usually with English menus and/or pictures), and the sushi & other foods are delivered on a track directly to your seat; make sure to grab your plate quickly, so that the next customer’s food can come down the track.

Eating/Drinking While on the Go in Japan

While we’re talking about food and drink… This is something we usually do only when seated.

The concept of eating and drinking while walking down the street or even standing in a public space is pretty foreign in Japan. The same goes for local trains & buses, too – eating & drinking are frowned upon. 

(The exception is when riding the bullet train or long distance train; it’s popular and encouraged to buy an “ekiben” box lunch at the station and eat it on the train)

Which can be kinda awkward for visitors, especially after seeing all those YouTube videos and TikTok & Insta content about “street food” in Japan. For us Japanese, street food usually means food we can buy on the street – in a small shop or at a stand – and take home (or to the office or maybe the park) to eat. 

Even if you’re wandering through a crowded “market” tourist trap venue like Nishiki Market in Kyoto or Tsukiji Market in Tokyo, you’ll see signs and hear announcements asking you not to eat or drink while walking, but rather to please do so in designated areas.

What if you buy a sports drink and an onigiri rice ball at the konbini (convenience store)? Can you enjoy those outside on the street? Hmm, I mean, you technically could do that and get away with it, using what’s called the “Gaijin Smash” (where foreigners skirt or break the rules and feign ignorance to get away with it). 

But now that you know, it’s probably best if you consume your food & beverage inside the konbini (if they have an eating area, as some do), or enjoy it at your hotel or nearby park (some cities established eating areas on the sidewalks during the pandemic times, and you can still find these around).

Tipping in Japan: No, No, No

Tipping is another area where Japan differs from a lot of countries. Simply put: we don't do it. 

Seriously, please don't try to tip anyone in Japan. I've seen well-meaning visitors chase down servers trying to give them money, only to leave everyone feeling awkward. 

Japan’s service culture is about “omotenashi.” That means that service is expected, not extra. Though the intentions may be good, trying to give a tip in Japan will usually cause confusion at best, and ill will to boot. 

The price on the menu is what you pay. Plus tax, of course, unless the menu indicates that tax is included. Also, some izakaya pub-type places will have a service charge that’s incorporated into a small appetizer – it’s called “otoshi,” and you can expect to pay in the range of 300-800 yen per person. 

Having said that, with the influx of visitors from North American and other cultures that are accustomed to tipping, we’re hearing of a few coffee shops and touristy food places that apparently are leaving out a tip jar. This is really strange for us Japanese even to think about, I have to say. Hopefully it doesn’t spread. 

It’s our pleasure to welcome visitors to Japan. Genuinely. 

If the service is exceptional in a restaurant or hotel, maybe write a 5-star review on Google, and you can mention the staff by name – servers in Japan don’t usually “introduce” themselves as is common in the US, but most staff wear a name tag, and you can ask their name too (o-namae wa nan desu ka?).

Japan’s Temples & Shrines: Sacred Spaces, Sacred Rules

Japan's temples and shrines are often tourist attractions. But while they’re a great spot to enjoy some of your family trip, solo adventure or honeymoon in Japan, remember that it’s not just a museum.

These are active places of worship. So while we're happy to share them with visitors, there are a few things to keep in mind.

First off, there's often a purification ritual at the entrance to a Shinto shrine. You'll see a fountain with ladles. The process is: take a ladle, rinse your left hand, then your right, then pour some water into your left hand to rinse your mouth (don't drink directly from the ladle), then rinse the ladle handle. 

Sounds complicated? Just watch the locals and follow their lead.

Inside the buildings and on the grounds of holy places, keep your voice down and be respectful. If there's an area where photos aren't allowed, please respect that. And if you see people praying, give them space. 

Manners in Other Spaces in Japan

Aside from holy places such as shrines and temples in Japan, there are other places where it’s important to practice a little extra self-restraint.

One phenomenon that we’re seeing these days is travelers in Japan going overboard with how they photograph Japan and its people.

In particular, there have been stories of geisha and their apprentices in Kyoto being stalked by overzealous tourists trying to get photos or video of these rather reclusive people.

You already know this, but we’ll say it anyway: Japan itself isn’t a museum (but we’ve got some great ones to show you). Japanese people aren’t on parade for the benefit of Instagram or TikTok.

In fact, there are privacy laws in Japan that could get you in trouble with the authorities. So when you’re taing photos or rolling video, be respectful of other people and avoid making them intentional subjects (without their permission).

Accommodations in Japan: Your Home Away from Home

Whether you're staying in a hotel, ryokan or Airbnb, there are a few things to keep in mind.

In traditional accommodations, you'll often need to take off your shoes at the entrance. Look for slippers provided for indoor use. And yes, there are separate slippers for the bathroom, so please use those.

If you're in a ryokan or a home with tatami mats, remember that shoes and slippers are a no-go on tatami. Socks or bare feet only, please.

And a quick note on noise: Japanese walls can be thin. Like, really thin. So maybe save your midnight karaoke practice for another time.

The Art of Flexibility: When in Japan, Do as the Japanese Do (Sometimes)

Here's the thing about all these rules and customs: they're guidelines, not laws. 

The most important thing is to be respectful and open-minded. If you make a mistake, a simple "sumimasen" (sorry) goes a long way.

Remember, you're traveling in Japan to experience a different culture. That means sometimes doing things differently than you would at home. Embrace it! 

Try sitting on the floor at a traditional restaurant. Give the onsen (public bath) a go. Attempt a conversation in broken Japanese with a local.

Some of my favorite memories of showing friends around Japan are the moments when they stepped out of their comfort zones. I’ve experienced the same when traveling and living abroad. That’s why I’m sharing this advice with you about how to experience Japanese culture and get the most from your self-guided tour in Japan.

The Real Japan is in the Details

At the end of the day, etiquette in Japan isn't about following a strict set of rules. It's about being aware, being respectful and being open to new experiences. It's these little details, these moments of cultural exchange, that can turn a good trip into an unforgettable one.

So go ahead, dive into the deep end of Japanese culture. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them later. That's what travel is all about, right? 

Just remember – we're here to help you navigate the ins and outs of Japanese culture. Whether it's planning your Japan itinerary or giving you a heads up on local customs, we've got your back. Because at the end of the day, we want you to experience the real Japan – respectfully, authentically, leaving with nothing but souvenirs and great memories.